Wednesday, February 24, 2010

shortbread cookies and canceled trips make my day

There's something to be said about the simple things in life. Trips to Target in the middle of the week with one of your best friends, shortbread girl scout cookies, babies and unexpected phone calls are four things that come to mind. Nothing was going to be very special about today,but sometimes those are the days that turn out to be the most special. I'm such a laid back person and am especially happy when things are simple and stress free. I stayed after school this afternoon, turned up my country music and graded a large stack of papers. Doing so reduced my stress level quite a bit. I then left my school, picked up Jess and headed to Target where I purchased new sandals. I was very excited to find them. Trying to find shoes that I love- in my size- is difficult and sometimes depressing. My rule is this: If I find shoes that I really love in my size, I buy them- even if I don't really need them.
After a mini shopping adventure, we returned home. Well, the home of Jessica, and my former home before 425 MDW. I miss living with her. I love my condo, but wish that she could be my neighbor. Tonight, she fixed dinner, while I sat at the kitchen bar and indulged in shortbread girl scout cookies. They were amazing. I ate four and could have eaten three more...
I also got to see Gina and baby Jacob tonight. I am sad that I don't get to see them as much as I'd like either. I think if I had my way in life, everyone I loved would live on the same street. Everytime I see Jacob, he has learned to do something new. He has found his hands and is so alert. And he's just about the cutest thing ever. I'm so happy for both Kevin and Gina to have such a little miracle in their lives.
Lastly, the simple thing that started my day off with a smile was my unexpected phone call. Phil was supposed to be traveling to another base in Iraq. I knew that I wouldn't talk to him for a few days, so I said goodbye last night before I went to bed. He called this morning when I woke up. I was surprised at how excited I got when I saw his number on my cell phone. His trip was canceled and I was glad.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

a different angle

Caption: This is my original picture. Framed. On my dresser.

I love unexpected things and I love photographs. Today,posted on facebook (ofcourse, because that's the easiest way to get in touch with people these days) Trey asked for my email address because he wanted to share a picture with me. I was excited to have a new picture of me and Phil. We have a limited amount of pictures because if you know anything about our relationship, you know that we have spent more time apart than we have physically together thus resulting in...well, not too many pictures.
I was excited to open my inbox this evening when I got home to have this picture waiting for me. It's amazing the little things I have come to appreciate. Have you ever been excited to get a new picture after six months from when it was taken? I have its' brother framed on my dresser in my bedroom. The picture that Trey shared with me was taken at the exact moment the one I have was taken....it is just a new and different angle.


Caption: This is the new picture. I love it. It will be framed soon.
This got me thinking about life and how something can happen and how you look at it completely depends on the angle in which you are sitting... or thinking... or where your heart is. For instance, one of my dearest and sweetest friends is going through such a hard time right now. She is consumed by feelings of saddness and feeling lost. I know one day she will look at her situation from a different angle and see how God was working in her life. This is how life is. Sometimes we don't see everything because we are looking in a certain direction. Sometimes this new angle doesn't sufface for six months... or maybe even longer... three years in my case. Sometimes it may take someone to point out something or to look back and reflect on the situation or that moment in time. I think that is okay because you really appreciate it more and feel thankful, just as I felt when I opened this picture sent from Trey.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

children's books, an excessive wardrobe and a handsome soldier

Maybe if I change my patio flag to say "Spring...it's your turn!" it would begin to warm up and I could post pictures of my spring flowers? That might be a good idea. But for now, it is snowing again in Virginia Beach. I've lived here pretty much my whole life and can honestly say that I have very few memories that involve snow.
This was last weekend's snow storm. Virginia Beach's own mini blizzard. My little snow day was a somewhat productive day. A load of laundry, took my Jeep to get inspected, bought 5...or maybe 10 children's books at Ollie's. If you have ever visited this overwhelming discount bargin store you will know why I purchased so many books. They are usually $3.99 and under. Most of the books I bought today were under. Infact----$1.99 was the most popular price on my receipt. You may still be wondering why I purchase children's books when I don't have any children. I've always wanted to have a huge collection of books for my future children. So I got started with this collection early- about four years ago while I was in college. You should feel better knowing that I never pay full price for a book. I usually find great stories at bargin stores, yard sales or through Scholastic Book Clubs. I loved being read to when I was a little girl and still have memories of my favorite books... I want my children to fall in love with books and also snuggling up at bedtime with me to read their books that they will fall in love with. So the books that came home with me today will sit right on my book shelf in my guest bedroom until my future little one will select a book, carefully, because it's the one he/she really loves. But if you come to visit me and stay in my guest bedroom.... you are allowed to read them. I already warned Philip that I have this small collection started. Fortunately, he thought it was a pretty good idea too.

Oh, and I bought a necklace and two pairs of earrings today at Stein Mart. I think it's safe to say that I just really love shopping and adding to my various collections. I do have a weakness when it comes to adding to these collections. Things I love to buy most for my collections include: jewelry (mostly costume or beaded jewelry), underwear-when it's on sale, children's books, blank greeting cards, and ofcourse anything for my wardrobe that already takes up three closets and three dressers. But again, I have warned Phil of my excessive wardrobe. I feel that it's only fair that I'm upfront with him about these things.
I saw the movie Dear John last night with my friend, Courtney. As always, the book was so much better. I remember getting lost in the book and shedding tears as I turned the pages. The movie wasn't terrible and the ending was left for the movie viewers interpretation. I did cry. Several times. I cried more for real life soldiers who recieve Dear John letters. Phil explained where the term Dear John letters came from. A "Dear John letter" is a letter written to a husband or boyfriend to inform them that their relationship with their girlfriend or wife is over because they met someone else. Doesn't it break your heart to know that men and women are in other countries, some that are scary and uncomfortable, fighting for their country and get the news that the very person they thought they could count on, gave up-moved on-found someone new? I have only had six months of this experience, and cannot say that I am an expert on this subject, but I can't imagine not standing by Philip and waiting for him. I guess some women aren't cut out to be a military wife, but shouldn't they know what they are signing up for? And if you love someone, shouldn't you love them despite the distance and the hardships. I believe that faith, love, God and trust must be the crucial values that a military marriage is built upon. *So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.* Isaiah 41:10 I believe that God has prepared my heart for this role that I am gladly signing up for- an Army wife.



And even if Philip was in another profession- that kept him at home- everyday- I would stand by him no matter what. I'm especially proud of him, and the simple fact that he is a Captain in the United States Army, makes me love him even more. I admire and respect what he is doing and sacrificing. I want to be the one he comes home to at the end of every deployment. Besides, he looks real handsome in his uniform.

How could I not stand by this man? He loves me and accepts my need to add to my various collections of children's books, clothes and other essentials. :) I'm one lucky girl.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

two is enough

I am a little embarrassed by how lazy I have been during the past two snow days. I have completely lost track of the date. This is unlike me. Being a teacher means always knowing the correct date. I often wonder how many times I look at my planner and write down dates. I write the date on the board every morning and it keeps me on top of things, especially for moments when someone asks, "What's today's date?" I quickly pipe up with the correct date and smile. I'm not as nice when my own students ask me. They know that it's on the board, in the same left corner, right under the American flag. So back to being lazy. I have given my skin and hair a break. No make up. No hair product or flat iron. I have also paid more attention to my tv. I have neglected it since the summer time. I've managed to Keep Up with the Kardashians... and visit with Benson and Olivia from Law and Order: SVU. I used to complain that I needed one day off work just to dedicate to housework, cleaning, organizing etc. Well, I got two days off and managed to... do one load of laundry- which is still in the dryer- and cook one homecooked meal. Porkchops. Wild Rice. and Baked Apples. Fresh Red Delicious Mott's apples--- with brown sugar and cinnamon. It was fantastic! Except for the whole eating alone.... well I did have Oprah to keep me company. I ate dinner really early tonight. I like early dinners though. I have had time to catch up with some of my favorite people on the phone too. Family, Friends and soon-to-be family :) ...I hope tomorrow will not be snow day #3. I need my routine back. And I'm ready to write the date on the board.

Monday, February 1, 2010

it's a love story, a really good one

I find myself taking deep breaths, very often. I almost can't believe my very own love story. I was in church last Sunday and I was looking at my bulletin and there was a very simple statement that got my attention. It was this: When God writes your love story....
I think about it almost daily. The relationship I share with Phillip is unexpected and there is a very special part of our relationship that is different than anything I've ever experienced. Sometimes I lack the vocabulary and the ability to put into words exactly how I feel. I am a person with a lot of anxiety. I am always, always ten steps ahead of myself and often let moments pass me by. Sometimes... I am just a mess. Analyzing. Planning. Stressing. It's ridiculous the amount of sleepless nights I have experienced. Luckily, Phil has a way of keeping me in the moment and slowing me down. It's funny to put it that way, because life is about to be very chaotic, busy and will require tons of planning in the near future. But for today, God has given us a chance to slow down and really explore who we are as a couple, our expecatations and hopes and dreams for each other in our relationship and a marriage. This deployment is a gift from God. A year to just wait and pray and to talk and to learn. Learning is a huge part of this journey. I have learned more about myself this year than the past few combined. I needed this. God knew it and that's what makes fall in love with Him and His plan. I really have the best of both worlds. I have been blessed with an amazing man who I fell for instantly, but God gave us the time, especially me... time to just be in the moment. Take one step. Breathe. Another step. One letter, one phone call, one day at a time. At first, I didn't look too far ahead and didn't want to. I was content with being in the moment. I love all of the little moments that have added up to be an amazing story. Here are a few amazing things about our relationship:
Trust is the absolute key in holding us together, especially when we are so far apart
Communication is effortless and enjoyable
Laughter transcends hundreds of miles
I feel as if I could conquer the world... or just teach a room full of energetic sixth graders
My smile is brighter and people notice
Never taking a day for granted means something different than it did before...
I'm excited about who I am and smile when he appreciates my unique attributes
Questions are easier to ask
Listening is more important than speaking
Finding ways to express love is a daily mission
I have become a better person- a better daughter, sister, friend, teacher... a better version of myself
Being vulnerable and exposing my fears was much easier when I knew I was safe
Honesty happens naturally
Kind words roll off my tongue
Understanding replaces anger
Patience replaces frustration
Peacefulness replaces anxiety
Trust replaces jealousy
... a lot of amazing things happened because God wrote our love story.