american pie

Typically, you associate American pie with apple pie, but in this girls' American kitchen, American pie is my grandmother's recipe for strawberry pie. I have loved this wonderfully perfect dessert since I was a little girl. My Papa and I both LOVED it.

Sidenote: When I was little, I wanted my Grandma [my mom's mother] and my Papa [biological father's father] to get married. It made sense to me. I loved them both so much and they seemed to enjoy each other's company and my Papa L-O-V-E-D my grandma's home cookin'!

So what do you do when the one you love is coming home from Iraq? You make him an American pie! I know it's probably not his favorite, but I do love this pie and I want to introduce him to this little piece of heaven.

A few weeks ago, I was privileged to spend a week [almost] with my Grandma Shelby. First, you should know that this was one of the highlights of my summer. We spent much needed quality time together. You see, my grandma and I are very close. We talk several times a week and write to one another with our stationary. We have been upholding this tradition for over six years now [since college]. She's a huge part of my life and I love her dearly. I think everyone should spend a week with their grandmother. It's a great time to slow down and enjoy what matters most in life: family. A time to laugh, and bake [and boy, did we bake and cook!]. I listened to her stories and we shared memories and made new ones. We shopped and visited and relaxed. The best naps I've ever taken in my life took place on my Grandma's couch. Here are some things I knew about her, but really appreciate and love: she has the most generous heart, she could work her way around the kitchen with her eyes closed, she has a great sense of humor, she is an angel, I call her the town sweetheart, she loves a good movie and good company, she likes a good bargain too [like me!], she is dedicated and never stops, she is a volunteer and the sunshine that brightens everyones day and she's always up for anything.... and yes, if you must know, she spoils me to pieces!

Tomorrow [tomorrow!] Phil comes home and perhaps he will be in the mood for a slice of American [strawberry] pie. I made this pie with fresh strawberries and lots of love. I've also saved up lots of hugs and kisses for him too!

we float while we wait...

Today was a day that I just didn't want to be alone. I went to the pool with Courtney Batte, who is Trey's girlfriend. Trey is good friends with Phil and they also have been deployed in Iraq together [for a year!].

We are only a few days away so Courtney and I had to discuss girl things. We talked about our dresses, the way we want to wear our hair, what kind of shoes [flats or wedges?] I think flats. We also had moments that we were just so darn excited about the upcoming days, weeks and months with our guys! We have already made a verbal list of "things to do" when they get back. Several double dates are in the works: concerts, movies, dinners, beach, ....everything! It's nice to have a friend to talk to who completely understands all of the emotions of waiting. So while we waited for the hours to pass by... we floated... in the pool and tried to look like we were relaxed.... but really, we were just two very anxious girls with lots of butterflies.

More Phil and Trey moments:

the beach

There is a place that is more beautiful than any other place in the world...

this place allows you to see nature at her finest and God's amazing creation

the smell of salt air,

sand between your toes,

the sun either rising in front of you or setting behind you [on the east coast]

the waves crashing on the shore is never ending,

a cool breeze against your face,

you can play,

nap,

run,
swim,

fish,

dig,

walk,

dive,

build,

search,

listen,

watch,

collect,

wait,

pray,

read,

listen to the sounds of kids playing...

and seagulls squalking

you are at your absolute happiest here...

especially when you're sharing your day with someone that you love

...a day at the beach is the best day [or night] of all!

Phil and I love the beach. We had our first date here and I cannot wait to go back with him.

Today, Lauren and I took Macie and Sophie [Courtney's puppy dog] to watch Courtney play volleyball. This evening, at the beach, we: walked, laughed, ran, watched, played, and listened.

the day i've been waiting for

We have been apart for a year! We made it!

Every day I thought of you...

LOVE came move mountains and help you stay close despite the distance

Communication is everything

Oh man, I've missed you!

Moments apart weren't easy

Everything: is what I can't wait to do with you!

Hugs and Kisses are needed, please!

Oh my gosh, I'm so in love [thanks Usher for letting me borrow your lyrics]

My heart is happy you're here!

Every chance I get, is how often I'm going to tell you that I love you!

The 159th Seaport Operations Company will be getting home this evening at 7:30 PM on Fort Story. I'm ready to welcome him home and jump in his arms! God Bless my Army Captain, God Bless our soliders and God Bless America! Pictures will be posted soon! Thank you to all of my friends and family for your constant love, support and encouragement! This year has been full of ups and downs, but I couldn't have done this without you!

I love you Philip McDowell. You are such an inspriation to my heart and the reason I write...

how sweet it is to be loved by you

I found the sweetest guy in the world. God worked this out just perfectly, don't you think? I tell Phil all the time how thankful I am for him. He's so sweet and takes the opportunity every chance he gets to tell me how much he loves me, or how proud he is of me, or how beautiful I am [usually without makeup-on Skype]

I wonder if he knows how much of an impact he has had on my life? And that I believe he is the one who has made everything in my life make sense.

Every path,

every decision,

every idea

....and even the reasons I am the way I am...

they all led me to this moment and to this man [see picture above] I look at this picture and smile. This is us...two people brought together by God who are just so happy to be together. We just make sense together. I love this kind of love we share. I love how he knows me so well and knows my heart. He's tough and strong and competitive and at the same time he is so sweet to me. I love him and can't wait to be his wife...

Countdown Update: 5 more days!

six reasons

What do you like to do with your favorite girl friends on a Tuesday night at 7:30? Well, around here we like to get together and dance our hearts out. We laugh and celebrate and reteach and encourage and take pictures and celebrate our friendships...all while we DANCE. Tonight we had a mission to learn a certain dance. I can't tell you what dance it was or why we learned it, but I will blog about it later on. The dance we learned is considered "easy" and we did master it and had fun doing it. I love these girls for coming out and learning this dance with me.

Let me introduce you to the beautiful girls in this picture:

[from left to right]

First you will see a girl who isn't much of a country fan, but dresses the part. She puts her boots on and dances the night away and looks so cute and like such a natural doing it! She is outgoing, silly and is the type of person you feel you've known your whole life. She's dedicated and smart and just got engaged herself! Yay! Congratulations!

Next, you will find a girl who LOVES country music with all her heart. She loves dancing and the beach. She would do anything to make sure her friends are happy. She leaves for dental school in August and has so much to offer the world. I will miss her and her smile, but am so proud of her! She also makes the best cake ever [both in the taste category and creativity!]

The next girl is in the same boat as I am. She has been without her other half for a year. She's independent, strong and loves her family. She's loves a good country line dance too! Even though she's only met a few of my friends once or twice, she makes herself at home and jumps right in. She's on a countdown. We both are ready for our guys to come home.

What about her? She is the most honest person you will ever meet. She will dance her heart out all night long and makes it look so easy. She's a great teacher and loves math. She will sit down with a good book and finish it in only a few days. She was the best roomate I ever had and makes a great homemade pizza! I don't know what I'd do without her.

Do you see her? She's the elementary school teacher of the group. She is the most down to Earth girl you'll ever meet. She is so easy to be around and says funny things. We both enjoy a good game of Catch Phrase. I call her my food soul mate. She has the cutest puppy and is always up for a good movie or day at the pool. Our friendship is easy and was meant to be!

Lastly,she is strong while her guy is away serving his country. We are both passionate about love and life and following your heart. She is faithful and appreciates a quiet night in and a good conversation. If it has been a while since you've seen her, you easily pick up right where you left off. She's going to be applying to Med School soon too! She is also a new mom...to the cutest puppy with his big paws and floppy ears.

Please meet my dear friends:

Jessie, Lauren, Courtney B., Jessica, Countney and Geralyn

These friends are six really amazing reasons why I have been able to make it through this deployment. I love you girls more than you know.

you kept us connected

Dear Skype,

We have become good friends over the past year. When I first downloaded you, I knew our relationship would become a close one. I counted on you every night to connect me with my Phil while he was away in Iraq. Thank you for letting me use you to keep in touch with the ones I love most: Phil, my mom and a quick date, once upon a time, with my Tessa. Even though at times I got mad at you when you didn't work as well for Phil as you did for me, I still appreciate everything you did for us! [I think I know why you worked better for me...you secretly like the US more than you do Iraq. I understand, trust me!] Overall, on most nights you pulled through and kept us and our worlds connected. You allowed us to talk and share our days and to share smiles and a few tears, you even let Macie use you to say hello too! Phil logged in at 4AM...and me between 9-10PM. You stayed on while we fell asleep and kept us close while we both lay on our pillows.

Skype, you made my life so much easier and helped me to feel not so lonely. You should know that my favorite part of my day was when I opened my laptop, logged on and heard all of your sounds telling me that Phil was calling!

If you've been wondering where we've been lately, Phil had to move out of his trailer and hasn't been able to access you as frequently. To be completely honest [because honesty is what all good relationships must have] you probably won't be seeing much us in the upcoming year or two. You see, Phil is coming home and we will be able to talk and communicate face to face. So don't be upset when you don't hear from us. We really appreciate all that you've done and that you offer: your friendship and services for free! I'm sure you'll be busy with thousands and thousands of other couples who are just trying to stay as close as possible, and for friends and family members who have to be apart. Oh! That reminds me, I will use you to call my mom in South Carolina. We like to have show and tell when we go shopping!

I may be using you tomorrow to talk to Phil one last time before he leaves Balad! This will be the best Skype date ever, I'm sure!

Thank you for always being there when I just needed to see my best friend who had to be over there and not here...with me.

All my love,

Heather

the 10 day forecast

My friend Lauren called today. I was not able to talk to her, but she did leave a voicemail with a tad bit of information. With excitement in her voice she shared this with me:

"Hey Heather, it's Lauren. I'm just calling because I realized something exciting. While I was checking the weather I realized that the day Phil comes home is now in the 10 day forecast and I know that it's silly and dumb, but I thought it would be something you'd be excited about..... I love you! Bye!"

Oh Lauren, it's not silly or dumb and you're right... I AM SO EXCITED! I have been waiting for this 10 day forecast all year!

twice in one day

I was driving the other day, switching between radio stations until I heard something I wanted to hear and this song came on[the lyrics are below]. I love it, but honestly forgot just how much I loved it. It gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. I heard the same song "When You Say Nothing At All" later in the evening of the same day. It made me smile because Phil has a way of making me feel needed and wanted and safe and confident that I have found a good man who loves me so much (the feeling is mutual if you didn't know).



"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain what I hear when you don't say a thing


The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
A touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothin' at all


All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd
Oh Mr. Webster could never define what's being said between your heart and mine" -Alison Krauss "When You Say Nothing At All"

I'm just like her...

I'm just like her...

We laugh at the same things,

sing at the top of our lungs to our favorite songs [usually Carrie Underwood or Sugarland],

we love shopping and can easily dedicate hours in our favorite stores,

we love a good bargain,

we love with all of our heart,

we love our men in uniform and love our country,

we have patience,

we can be feisty

and independent,

we like to figure it out on our own,

we enjoy cooking a good meal,

we like to Skype and show each other things we've bought or made

we hang on to our receipts way too long,

we're faithful

and outgoing,

we teach each other

and learn from one another

and listen to each other

and have been through life's toughest moments together...

we are mother and daughter

Today is a very special woman's birthday: my beautiful, loving, funny, silly, passionate, dedicated, strong, amazing mother.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

At the end of my scavenger hunt, on my way to the last destination [Fort Story] I took a moment to call my mom [of course!] to tell her that I loved her and that I was so happy and that I was wearing the dress she bought me for my birthday and the jewelry she picked out and gave me at Christmas. There were tears. I love her so much and am so blessed.

PS- She adores Philip. The answer to her prayers.

Rack-O

Dear Phil,
When you were home for R&R in April we played a little game called Rack-O. Do you remember? We sat at opposite ends of the couch with our legs crossed over each other and our feet in the others lap. We had a blanket across our laps and a little white fluffy sweet dog sat with us while we engdulged ourselves in several games of Rack-O. It's a simple game with a little strategy mixed in. You should know that I had the best time playing with you. You should also know that I enjoy the simple things in life with you. Here are some other simple things that I loved doing with you:

1. Sharing frozen yogurt and a sandwhich at Arch's in Charlottesville
2. Playing putt-putt [despite my terrible, terrible allergies] but you did stop in the middle of the game to stuff more clean tissues in your pocket from the car just for me
3. Taking Macie and Kent for walks
4. Going out to eat breakfast at The Nook
5. When you drove us all around town and to North Carolina and then on to Virginia Beach
6. Fixing cinnamin rolls in the afternoon
7. Dancing with you at your *surprise* birthday party
8. When you brought me Starbucks to work and made copies for me! I loved that!
9. Running errands
10. Completing our wedding registries
11. Doc Taylor's for breakfast
12. Spending time with our families
13. Singing out loud in the car
14. Laughing
15. Giving you hugs anytime I wanted
16. A not-so-simple thing that you carefully planned from Iraq: my engagement scavenger hunt. I enjoyed every minute of it and love you for making it so much fun and so memorable.


I am so happy you are coming home so that we can continue to enjoy the simple things in life together, like a game of Rack-O, are you up for it? I hope so! I love you so much and I'm praying for lots and lots of patience for both of us. See you soon!

Always,
Heather

back in the tent and a patio conversation

As I type this, Phil is fast asleep in a tent. Not a camping tent, but more of a transition tent. At least that's how I think of it. He slept in this tent when he first arrived in Balad, and now he is back, sleeping in a tent just before he leaves Balad. [insert happy dance:: mini-celebration here] Not the best sleeping conditions, but doesn't he look peaceful in this picture? I could just tip-toe over and sit down beside him and kiss his face. This picture was taken many, many months ago, but I love it. Poor guy is just trying to relax as much as possible, in Iraq, in a tent.

I wonder what he is dreaming about? What song he is listening to? I couldn't sleep like that. I sleep on my side in a little ball. He's a tough guy and never complains [another reason I love him so].

Today was a productive day here in Virginia Beach. I stayed inside all morning and afternoon, except to take Macie for her walks [approximately five times today]. I cleaned and organized those little spots in my house that needed some attention. I got rid of old shopping receipts and cleaned out my purses, consolidated all of my loose change into a zip-loc baggie, bagged up old clothes to donate to Goodwill and organized my wedding projects [programs, guest gift tags, starfish and such]. I did get out tonight around 7:00. I decided that this is a very good time to run errands: not much traffic, hardly anyone in the stores and it's much cooler outside. I went to TJ Maxx and found a new flowerpot for our patio, and a flower basket to hang on my house. Next stop, Lowes. Here I purchased two plants [hot pink ones] and an outdoor patio rug.

I am in the process of giving our patio a little makeover. I love my patio. You must walk through it to get to the front door so it needs to be inviting and comfy. I can't wait to sit outside [on a cool night] when Phil gets home. We can grill out for dinner, listen to music, and enjoy a great outdoor/patio conversation. You might be wondering what type of conversation that might be. Well, it is much different than an indoor living room conversation. A patio conversation consists of talking about all the things you love about being outside, and OUCH! maybe how a bug just bit you [hopefully not, but it happens sometimes], you talk about your plans and how nice it is to just slow down and be in one another's company. You also look at one another and smile a little more. Silence is easier and is welcomed when you're outside. And then! You get the idea to fire up the grill again [after dinner, of course] and make SMORES.

i saw my love today

When was the last time you saw the one you love? Maybe it was yesterday, or this morning before they left for work, or maybe a moment ago and they just left the room to get a piece of cheesecake or perhaps they are sitting next to you right now and you're legs are stretched out across their lap. Maybe you can you look up and smile at your love and kiss their cheek because you love that they let you stretch your legs across their lap. That's what I would do if my love was sitting right here with me at this very moment. I'd stop typing my blog and kiss his cheek because he's just so amazing and so easy to be with and his smile melts my heart.

I saw my love today. For the first time in two and a half weeks. We had a Skype date. It felt like old times [back when he first arrived in Iraq]. He went to a building that had wireless internet to Skype me. It was great to see his face and to look at him while we talked. I fell in love all over again. Isn't that something? To fall in love with someone over Skype? I miss him terribly and feel a little refreshed that I got to see him. However, I still miss him like crazy. The toughness and independence is wearing off. I have cried more in the last week from missing him than I did when he first left. I think my one year amount of "I can do this" is wearing thin. We're so close and I think that's what makes it so difficult. It's like someone dangling your favorite thing in the whole world in front of you and all you want is to reach out and grab it and pull it near you and hold it forever.... oh, but you have to wait for 12 more days! [that's my attempt at painting a picture in your head of how much I want him and need him home with me].

Don't be sad for me though, because I quickly wipe away those anxious, lonely tears and smile because IT IS ALMOST OVER. Celebrations are going on in my head and my heart many times throughout the day. This year of being apart and falling in love is almost over. Only the falling in love will continue when his feet are firmly planted on good ol' US soil. I will find something more to love about him every day I am sure. I'm looking forward to this new journey... the journey of being newlyweds [as of Septemer 25, 2010] and of me embracing my new life as an Army wife.

Thank you to Courtney for keeping me smiling today at the pool, and for stuffing your face at Outback with me and then for watching a really talented group of people line dance at Diesel. I am sad to say that we did not attempt line dancing tonight. I think we were too full from our bloomin' onion and ketchup and bread and salad and chicken and green beans. We will return to Diesel next week with Lauren, Jessica and Jessie to learn together because we are not talented line dancers and that makes it more fun when you have a group of friends who are learning with you.

fireworks missing in my sky

It's not easy being away from your other half on such a great holiday weekend. It makes it even more difficult to know that he's not even in his home country to celebrate her birthday. Fireworks, music, hot dogs, days at the beach... these are all things I would love to experience with him, along with our friends. He's giving the best gift to his country for her birthday: his service and dedication. He's sacraficing being away from his loved ones so that we can be with our loved ones. So thank you, Philip and all the other troops who are away for this big birthday bash that we call The Fourth of July weekend.

Do you know what is so great about my future husband? He wants me to be happy and to enjoy every day, even though he is working so hard and experiences times of complete boredom. I feel selfish for having such a great time with friends while he is over there, but he reassures me that it's okay. We're a great team and I am so lucky to have his love and support while he is there. I'm also lucky to have the support of my family and friends here. Surviving a deployment, especially on holiday weekends is not easy, but surrounding yourself with people [like Courtney Brown] make it a lot easier.

Next year, we will celebrate the Fourth of July together. We will make up for lost time and create memories that we didn't get the chance to make this year. There will be fireworks, hot dogs, cornhole, music, friends, and most importantly, Phil will be here, not there.

this land was made for you and me

Happy Birthday, America! Today you turned 234 years old. What a cool age! I think it should be a good year for you. Your three digits are in chronological order. You haven't had that since you turned 123 years old in the year 1899!

Thank you for all that you offer and everything you stand for: your beautiful beaches and magestic mountains, your page turning history, the freedom you give, a sense of pride and the feeling of being at home that you offer. Thank you for your open arms and the strength you have to overcome anything the world can throw at you. Thank you for giving my man and thousands of other troops past and present something worth fighting for.

May God continue to bless you and the people that love you so.

Love,

Heather

PS- Please enjoy the fireworks, music and togetherness that will take place in your honor.

wedding dress alterations and Superman

When you were little did you ever dream about your wedding dress? I never did, but today I realized that I had found my dream dress. I was standing on a platform pedestal in a little alterations shop and I got goosebumps and a big smile came across my face. I love my wedding dress. It's perfectly me. It's elegant, beachy, comfortable (this is important to me because it will allow me to dance), and it makes me feel like a beach bride marrying my prince charming Army Captain.

Our wedding day is quickly approaching. I am looking forward to this day so much.... but for now, I'm focusing on the fact that Phil and I are only 15 days away from being together again! He left almost one year ago- July 28th- and we've been apart for what is going on "too long."

His replacements are there [in Iraq] and he has been very busy with turning things over to them. He works so hard and puts in more hours than you could imagine, yet every time he calls, he sounds relaxed, refreshed and happy. He says it is because he is talking to me, however, I think it's because he's secretly Superman. He does love the show Smallville...hmmm- maybe there is a connection? He got up this morning at 3:15 to complete his PT test. He was first in the sit-up category, third in the 2 mile run and push ups. Yes, now I am convinced he's Superman.

He is sleeping in his office, on a couch. He moved out of his trailer about a week ago. He will soon hand over his office to his replacement commander and will be sleeping on a cot. I guess this probably makes him happy because it means he is closer to coming home. I'm so proud of him and just pray that they return home soon, safe and do not get delayed. ETA: July 18th.

My homecoming dress is hanging in my closest. I will continue to keep myself busy and enjoy a few beach days until he returns.